I am Cristian Duran and the singer for Delfino Squared. I was brought up in a home that wasn’t rich in music, and for the longest time listened to what was on the radio. I developed a knack for singing and was thrust into this crazy world of music and have been given an outlet to express my thoughts, feelings, and emotions which I hope you can understand when listening to me sing.
A lot of the challenges I have faced are symptoms of problems that have stopped me from realizing my full self. I tend to waiver from a state of disconnection from my emotions to then a state of intensity with my emotions. It’s really confusing. Growing up in a sports background, it is a lot of matter-of-fact. It is a sense of imposter syndrome because you are constantly grouped into a team, and you are never seen as an individual.
“When you are not treated as a unique entity or person with your own unique struggles and strengths, it is really hard to make it your own.”
I think kids who are more emotionally vulnerable have a harder time handling loss and failure. It’s why we have participation trophies. Instead of participation trophies, I wish people could just understand that every kid interprets failure differently. If everyone was coached with a story like Michael Jordan, you might see more resilience because he was able to push through the struggles. As a kid, you’re just told to go through it and not guided along this path.
Different from my experience with sports, with music I can express all my emotions whether it’s anger, frustration, apathy, whatever it is I am talking about in the song. The expression of it is so freeing.
Your mental health journey is a constant, ongoing struggle. Some people are seeking catharsis, but if you seek it, I can almost assure you that you probably will not find it. Catharsis comes from constant work. It is like hitting a sledgehammer against a brick wall, and catharsis is when you finally make that crack in the wall. It takes constant awareness; it is really tiring and hard. It is not easy to overcome and battle the things that have happened with you, but the best we can do is take it day by day. The ongoing struggle is completely okay.
I don’t ever want to simplify anyone’s struggle. I just hope that more people recognize that their struggle is unique. That they are unique in their own way.
