About This Episode
On this week’s episode Val and Luis are joined by Steven Hoffman, author of the book Surviving a Startup! From dealing with failure to strategies to earn venture capital join us as we learn exactly what it takes to survive a start up!
Topics Discussed in Today’s Show
1:23 How Steve got into entrepreneurship and startups
9:20 Reasons to be a entrepreneur
32:19 When is a company ready to raise capital
53:06 Don’t have an Idea/Bootstrapping
1:18:51 Steves Failure Story
Listen To The Episode On Spotify
[00:00:00] You know, like winter will come again, summer will come again, and it’s just like an analogy of basically saying like something that works for you at one point of your life, at one point in your life, won’t work for you in the future, and then it may come back and work for you again or like you might just move on to a different coat. So I think that just like I was such a powerful analogy, just showing like, yeah, things are going to change and that’s OK. And like, that’s just a part of life, like changes inevitable.
[00:00:26] Welcome to The Brew, I’m your host Valteri Salomaki. Today I’m joined by my co-host, we have Luis Macedo and we have a special guest. We have Hana from You’ll Be OK joining us today. We’re going to be talking about mental health. But before we get into it, Hana, I’m sure our audience would love to know a little bit more about your background and what you currently work on.
[00:00:56] Yeah, sure, thanks for the introduction. Hello, everyone, listening to the podcast. My name is Hana and I’m a freelance copywriter currently and I also am the founder of a platform called You’ll Be OK. And basically, well, I guess what I do is my freelance writing is a little bit different than what I do with You’ll Be OK. But my whole mission in life was to always help people and to always bring out the best in people. And just knowing that, like reaching out a helping hand can always elevate the person next to you. And so I guess that’s kind of where, like my two platforms cross, because for my freelance career, I actually help small businesses with their copywriting. So I help them launch their businesses by writing copy for their websites and are usually creative entrepreneurs. And so what I really love about that job, actually, is that because they’re creative entrepreneurs, I feel like they always have like such a strong mission. And they’re usually trying to usually they’re photographers, so they’re trying to elevate other woman because usually they photograph women. So usually they’re trying to elevate other women with their photography, which is the mission that I really connect with. So even though I do copywriting on one side, I love how it still kind of connects to my whole mission with just trying to elevate people and talk about mental health and talk about kind of the struggles that we all face because of their culture and because of just crazy messages from the media about like how we have to look a certain way. And so that’s kind of what I also do on You’ll be OK. I’m just trying to dismantle that culture specifically. I try to provide inspiration for those suffering with disordered eating and eating disorders and anxiety and depression and see, yeah, that’s just kind of like what I’m working on right now. So even though they’re kind, they kind of sound different. Like when I just put it on a piece of paper, I love how like I’ve actually found an audience, like I can really connect with and with clients that I can really connect with as well. And it’s quite fascinating that you actually brought that like copywriting is kind of your background. And then and then that from that Fortey, you kind of built out this platform, this mission driven platform that you’re building out because copyrighting the central piece of how you communicate and the cross is most important thing. And copy is that one singular element that that that creates it because you can have the most beautiful graphics on the website, all these things.
[00:03:34] But if you can’t put into words, people can’t really understand it or relate to it or kind of buy into what you’re articulating across. So it’s quite fascinating how your backgrounds kind of all all molded together into that that that passion that you have. But I guess a question to that is when what really kind of spark that motivation for you to build out this open conversation tied into eating disorders, things when it comes to mental health awareness? What really inspired that kind of push forward? Yeah, oh, that’s such a loaded question, I feel like because my life, like I’m sure like anyone who suffered with any mental health can see patterns in their life where they’ve actually suffered from there, like whatever they suffer with. And that’s kind of the same for me where I didn’t know I was suffering from any mental illnesses until I reached college. And I it started impacting my quality of life. And then I looked back on my life and I was like, oh, dang, this has always been here. So what I thought was just like a little part of my life that happened to pop up was actually like with me this entire time. And so I think just realizing that and recognizing that it would have been really helpful if someone would have pointed out the signs to me early on. So I could have, I guess, like taking care of myself a little bit better, I guess. Like that’s kind of where I’m coming from now, is that I really want to be an advocate for this space and be an educator and show people basically that there are people suffering from eating disorders and anxiety, depression, bipolar, whatever, like people suffer from these just on different levels.
[00:05:25] But that doesn’t mean that it’s not valid and it doesn’t mean that you’re not suffering from something. So that’s like kind of where I came in. And I guess like when I first found out that I had an eating disorder as well, I felt really ashamed about it. But just going through my entire journey, I realized like, no, this is actually like overcoming this has made me who I am. And so I think that’s also a really important message that I want to express to people, is that even though you may be suffering from something, it’s OK because you will get past this if you persevere and you’ll come out even better than before. And so I guess that’s also something else I’m trying to instill in people just like the education part, just knowing that you’re not alone and also just motivating people to seek treatment because, you know, I feel like there’s always the light at the end of the tunnel as long as you keep going. Of course. Yeah. It’s honestly like as you were going through your introduction and you were like listing off the things that that you’re kind of assisting with, I was just like, check, check, check. So so it’s it’s so that one of the reasons that I was really excited to be a part of this podcast and be part of this conversation that we’re having is I mean I mean, if we didn’t like the free logic and we didn’t meet until college. So that’s kind of where the I guess the genesis of our relationship kind of begins. But just to give a little background on me, right out of high school, I weighed like 300 pounds, like I was a big boy. And I I realized I was like, I can’t keep doing this.
[00:07:04] But instead of doing it a healthy way, like losing weight, I was just like, OK, well. I’m going to start riding a bike because all my friends are riding bikes and riding a bike. And that was my main mode of getting around. But then, like, I just straight up said, I want to lose a bunch of weight. So what I’m going to do is I’m just going to, like, stop eating, like, I’m just not going to do it. So what that turned me into was this like I would just ride my bike literally every day. I would ride by 50 miles a day, like a lot like I would just go to friends houses and just regrette around. I wouldn’t eat like once a night. And if would be like McDonald’s. So, like, I wasn’t like giving myself like healthy food and then I would just smoke like in between. So like whenever I would get a little bit hungry, I would just pop a second time out while I was riding a bike and just like just look absolutely ridiculous. But that’s kind of what I would do. And that obviously led to just a few name amount of kind of issues after the fact. So, I mean, anxiety is a thing. Depression is a thing that kind of comes after you shock your body. I mean, I went for, like I said, three hundred pounds. I was two hundred and eighty nine pounds at my heaviest. I went all in like three months. I made it all the way down to about one hundred and forty five hundred and fifty pounds like hard, hard and fast. And after that I was just like well this is my life now. But then like it was a very difficult for me to maintain that.
[00:08:31] And like I said, you get the anxiety starts kicking in because I call the crap the weight coming back on and then the pressure kicks in because, holy crap, the weight is back on. And then and then like shock after I said, OK, what can I do now? That is going to have the same impact that the last diet I went on did. But in reality. But now I’m like, OK, well, I can’t smoke because that was bad. So it’s like, OK, what can I do to kind of to kind of taper myself down again? And that was, what, 2012, 2013? So it’s been it’s coming on a decade now. Me like it’s like every year, I think getting a little bit better about like dealing with anxiety, dealing with like personal imagery, my personal image and going from there and where it’s at. I say this not as a like a here’s here’s my list of how one fucked up. But like I say a more I say a more of like this is why I wanted to have this conversation. I think it’s really rad that you’re helping because I would have loved to have had the resources that you’re giving when I was in high school showing that there is a better way, there is a better way. The way that I was doing it was the wrong way, the incorrect way, the non healthy way. And there’s a way where you can do stuff. You can transition your body into what you what is a healthy perception that you want while at the same time ensuring that you’re being a healthy person. And I think that’s a really hard for a lot of people, including myself. Still to this day, it’s very hard to walk that fine line of loving yourself, being healthy and not kind of folding under assumptions of body and kind of perceptions of others.
[00:10:18] So thank you for what you do is what I wanted to say. And and like I said, I think that it’s I think it’s rad that that you give this resource, though. Yeah, well, thank you for sharing your story, and I think it’s really cool that actually you can be so vulnerable with saying all that because I feel like a lot a lot of men talk about body image and about like their eating habits and what they struggle with, because it’s just, you know, like society has taught us that men are supposed to be strong, like emotionally, mentally and physically. And like there’s so much pressure on men to just not really talk about their emotions a lot. And then especially, at least from my perspective, growing up in an Asian family is like that’s even more amplified. And and actually, I have a cousin in Ireland. My dad’s side of the family is Irish and my mom’s side of the family is Asian. So just like looking at that side compared to the other side, my Irish side, I actually have a cousin who struggled with an eating disorder around the same time I did. And it’s just I don’t know, I was so shocked to learn because it’s like you don’t hear these stories about men going through this. And so I think that’s slowly changing, luckily. But I mean, there’s still a huge gap in this area that needs to be filled. And, you know, like men are under reporting, they’re eating disorders. And so the statistics are all off and everything. So, yeah, thanks. Thanks for sharing your story and being so vulnerable with it. We definitely need more people like you to speak up. Thank you. Yeah, it’s that to your point as well.
[00:11:59] I mean, I’m coming from a Mexican culture where we’re just run off of machismo, like entirely. So, yeah, it’s definitely one of those things to wear. Like, you know, the thinner I got, the more like my dad would be like, how are you? I like now, now, like, you know, build muscle and all this and all that. Or when I play soccer, I’d be like I like I had to be like this like shining example of like a midfielder or when I was like whatever it was, you know. So I understand kind of that perspective as well, coming from a very a culture that is of one mind and it’s very kind of resistant to change in some way, shape or form, whether that’s obviously the mental perspective or even individual perspective when you’re dealing with a child or yourself. Yeah, totally, and I think that’s where, like, I guess our generation is so important because we’ve kind of gone through like this really interesting time, I would say, when we grew up with, like, diet, culture was so huge. Like, you know, we were still in the stage of, like Atkins and like all the like, there’s nothing better than Skinny feels or whatever that quote was. And so, like, we grew up kind of like in that era where diet culture was just rampant. And then all of a sudden we have this like younger generation and then also us who like we also feel the repercussions from that era, just saying, like enough like we can’t do this anymore. We’re like we can’t hide anymore. Like, we need to talk about this because more and more people are suffering and it’s getting in the way of our quality of life. So it’s really interesting to just see that kind of shift in conversation.
[00:13:45] And at least like that’s how I kind of experience it, because growing up, like I had no idea what mental illness was like. I like you. Like, I had no idea what I was doing until I reach college and I was seeking help from a therapist. And so, yeah, it’s just it’s kind of an interesting time because we’re definitely seeing more and more people talk about it. But we didn’t grow up that way. So was still like, I guess a little bit of shyness. And some of us about this conversation. Yeah, it’s such a it’s such a taboo topic where it’s been like that. I think that’s the issues. People shy away from it because it has that social stigma attached to it. It’s like you want to appeal to those of your peers that I’m fine no matter what the situation is. And that’s that’s human behavior, which is very detrimental to humans. Right. Because the more we articulate, the more we talk about, the more we can solve issues that are that we’re internally dealing with or what our friends are dealing with or anybody else is doing it. It’s that it’s that communication side, the openness to have those conversations people. But I definitely do see how societal norms just make it in the past, especially like I think it’s opened up because more people of influence are showcasing it on Sociales and all these kinds of things in a positive light. There’s obviously negative repercussions to social and all that as well that we can discuss with mental health. But on the on the positive side, people are it’s the the information is accessible now like we have it’s way easier to get information and find out that I’m not the only person dealing with that thing.
[00:15:13] I’m not the only person dealing with that. And that that relatability with other people that are willing to articulate what’s going on is what I think is creating a little bit more comfortability and societal norms to kind of lower the barrier of having to be like super harsh and like don’t talk about that as your own personal problem, all these kinds of things to like. Now it’s like, no, let’s let’s have a conversation. Let’s figure it out. It’s a serious thing that you brought up. It impacts your quality of life. And it’s very interesting with younger generations as well, because the way that people are choosing jobs, what they want to do, what they like, what they value as health benefits, all these kinds of things are now transitioning over. I think it’s just like a it’s just a massive shift until like. How we see society as a whole, and I think this is at the end of the day, what’s really driving the conversation in the right direction, I think, is just where where younger generations want society to go to a certain extent. If you can’t have it on the head. Thank you. Appreciate that. I was preparing that all day in Oslo, right back in front of the movie. I had that I had that moment now, but I’m not like that. I think that’s that’s kind of the what. Like what? Like Lewis said, like, it’s great to have these conversations, right. Because like me and Lewis, we openly talk about every stupid thing we’ve done in our lives and what impact it has. We joke about it all the time, but because through like humor in my in my opinion, the easiest way to talk about stuff, because it takes that kind of harshness away from it’s like I can say something that, like is quite depressing, but I see it as a joke and it’s like, that’s fine.
[00:16:51] Right? Like that’s how I operate. Yeah. That’s the whole reason. The whole reason that made me and like I’ve always made the joke, the yin and yang joke, but like it’s because I feel like we’re both on the same level of depressed. So we can just like about we could just like bounce are like, like we’re like, hey, these are cries for help, but they’re coming out as jokes. But like we’re just it’s fun. Yeah. It’s a good idea. I had a friend like that as well. We’re like we were both suffering through anxiety at one point in our lives and like we both are really open to it, to each other about and we were such good friends that like we would just talk to each other all the time and we would be like, oh, my gosh, can you even imagine if you started getting an anxiety attack and then I would start getting an anxiety attack? Can we just be sitting in the car having an anxiety attack together? Like we were just like laugh about it, though, because I think, like, definitely no matter like what you’re suffering from during the recovery, I think it’s just it can get so serious sometimes. And like, you just kind of got to bring that humor back and like that light back and humor is just such a good way to do that. So, yeah, you know, it’s I half half of all of my jokes, if not 80 percent of all my jokes are thinly veiled cries for help and. Oh, my gosh, yeah. I feel, you know, so I mean, like if humor is a good tool when it comes to conversation for mental health, but what are what are some of those those like avenues that you’ve noticed that have made it easier to have communication by mental health or how to like, articulate across or have not asserted by people having to open up necessarily, but like people like listening in, like understanding what you’re talking about and relating is how have you found any mediums or a ways that it’s been easier to communicate across things, tenants, mental health.
[00:18:45] Yeah, I mean, I guess, like, honestly, Instagram has been a pretty good way to connect with people because I actually started my Instagram. Not that you’ll be OK when I have a more like I guess quote unquote, like personal wear, like the public can follow me. I started the account as a way to just like post photos of my food and get feedback and encouragement from other people who are suffering from eating disorders or who had already recovered. And so it was basically like a food slash emotional journal of mine where I could just connect with other people who were in the same boat as me, because in my actual, like, real in-person life, I didn’t really have anyone who I felt like I could talk to, not necessarily because, like, I didn’t have any close friends who are willing to help me out. But, like, I was just so vulnerable and so scared of what I was going through that I didn’t really feel ready to come out with people just full on. And so hiding behind a screen and just posting photos anonymously was such a good way for me to really connect with other people. And I guess as I started recovering then, I had a lot of self reflection and I notice things about my triggers. And like I just started finding out a whole bunch of stuff about myself that I didn’t know before. And so that’s when all this transformation started happening. And then this page has come become what it is. And then I created You’ll Be OK just because I learned so much on my journey. And yeah, it’s been like I think it’s been like seven years or something since I first attended therapy. And so, like, a lot of transformation has happened since then.
[00:20:35] And I’ve just been kind of still been using Instagram to take people throughout my journey. And it’s just something like I never really could get away from, I guess so. Yeah, that’s just kind of where I am. I think Instagram is just like the main platform that I can talk to everyone because everyone else is on Instagram too. So yeah. Yeah, it’s easy. I think that’s funny. So I the joke has been made before about my Instagram discography. It is just like deadlifts dudes and dogs like that’s it. Like, it’s just like guys just absolute peak fitness. So I don’t, I don’t really I don’t try to go on Instagram too much now. I really just go on Instagram now to like put on my story. That amount of basketball game like at this point, that’s the only reason I go. I just to show me that he’s at a Lakers game. Yeah, I bought tickets. That’s pretty much exactly. That’s all. That’s all I do now. But one thing I have kind of I remember I was like so hesitant on like doubling down on it. And now I do enjoy it is like the mental health side, like TikTok, like I have. I have learned so much that like even like therapy and stuff like that hasn’t given me like just from like people who are like. Going through different things that I that that I’m going through, so they obviously have different conversations with their therapist and they have different kind of outcomes and different realizations. And people post that stuff on on talk. And it just makes me go like, holy crap. Like it’s like this is like it’s cool. It’s honestly rad. Like, I mean, high school, me and I guess like post a little bit early post high school, like I feel like all social media was, was like showing off only the good, you know, it was never show off any of the bad.
[00:22:23] It was, it was it solely existed to show people your social status. And very rarely did you ever show a below average social status on Instagram was always best foot forward. So it was never about dealing with mental health issues or dealing with the EBAs or dealing with depression or dealing with it or whatever it might be. Instead, it was always here hanging out at the beach, you know, like doing things like traveling. I met a man a game. I just bought this new thing. Check out all these things that I have that that’s what social media always was. But now I think, again, kind of going back to what you brought up at the beginning here is there is a transition now away from this like materialistic keeping up with the Joneses kind of mentality on social media. And now it’s kicking into, you know, you’re a person, you matter, be happy. And I think that that is it’s fantastic. And I mean, I’d love to follow the people that you follow. And if you’re getting like if you’re getting that kind of positive kind of bubble that you have, because I definitely don’t have that right now. That’s why I just shy away from it. I don’t really go and I do too much just Twitter and talk now. Yeah. Yeah, I totally know what you mean because social media is definitely like what you make it right. Like if you follow the right accounts, it can be a really positive place. And I because I’ve been on it for so long, I guess like I’ve been able to kind of filter out my feet and know what works for me. And actually it’s really funny that you bring up the Discovery page, because I was looking at my discovery page a few months ago and it was all these videos and photos like I’m just not interested in, like I don’t know where this is coming from.
[00:24:16] It’s like things about celebrities and the like beauty tips. And I was like, this is not my world. I don’t understand any of this. So I worked really hard and I liked a bunch of pictures of really cute animals. And now, OK, I took like two months to do this, but now my discovery page is just cute animals. I want to show this to Jesus Christ, but it’s the first thing on my Discover feed is a dude doing the squats. Can you see the visible? It’s just it’s just like is out there. He’s getting it. So good for you, buddy. That’s the thing, that’s the thing that, like, this isn’t the worst. OK, so dude’s deadlifting basketball and Ginkel. That’s that’s my discovery today. There you go. No animals today. No dogs today. You’re missing out. Yeah, I guess I just got to go like a bunch a bunch of animal pictures. I mean, don’t get me wrong, but why does it it takes a little bit of time. Yeah, I was working pretty hard at it for like two months because I was just determined to not see anything else but cute animals. I’m afraid that it’s going to backfire on me that I was on Six Rock and I saw a video of I saw a video of these dogs getting adopted from a city pound and oh my God, I’ve never cried. So I went through it the first time and I was just and that was just the emotions built the first the first time around. But then, like the second time around when it hit me that all these adorable dogs were up for adoption, I was like, where is this place and how can I get all these dogs? It’s like it’s like literally like I just I keep crying just like messaging it to my wife, being like, where are these dogs? So I think I think it might backfire.
[00:26:03] Yeah, I guess you’ll have to find another area that you’re really interested in plan to double down on. I guess I’ll double down on the whole town on shredded dudes, but yeah. So, I mean, as for, you know, the transition from their list of as as four as four, like when it comes to overall like on social media, like we talked about, it can be it can be a positive place and it can also be a very negative place. Do you have any advice for those too? I mean, aside from like a bunch of dog photos and animal photos, build up your serotonin, what are you going to discover if you desert? Do you have like a recommendations where people can make their social media is more positive, but of course, like following certain accounts that helps write eliminating things that are bothering you that helps, like, be very real with yourself. So do you see a negative? You can get rid of it. Obviously something positive. You can amplify it. Do you have any tips for people to kind of build out that kind of positive ecosystem for them? Right. Because that at the end of the day, if you want to really focus and help build on mental health, you’ve got to surround yourself with them more positive, uplifting conversation or open conversations, because that’ll help any individual deal with whatever they might be going through at that point in time. Yeah, I guess there are like three things that immediately come to my mind on how to do that and like you said, like following positive people, those who actually support your journey and to encourage you to be better. That definitely helps. And, you know, sometimes someone can be positive, but for some reason their message isn’t speaking to you.
[00:27:48] And that’s totally fine. And you can follow them because even though they’re positive, it doesn’t mean that their message is going to apply to you. Everyone kind of has a different experience. So I think just being really real with yourself on who is actually serving you is going to really benefit you. So follow the people who you really resonate with are like their message. If you really resonate with the message, go ahead and follow them. And then on the flipside of that, unfollow people who don’t speak to you and that that ones like it can sometimes be a little bit difficult to find people who who, like you don’t want to follow anymore because sometimes you’re just like falling, falling, falling, and then all of a sudden, like your feet just kind of builds up and like it’s really chaotic and puttered. So what I usually do is and I guess is the third thing is do you like a little social media audit? So I go through either, like, I’ll just scroll and I’ll look at people’s captions and stuff and I’ll be like, oh, I don’t remember why I follow this person are like, oh, this captions like a little bit strange. And I’m not sure, like how this got into my feed. I’ll go to their profile and I’ll check it out and I’ll see like, OK, is this person serving me or not. And then I’ll also sometimes just go through my following list and I’ll just kind of unfollow from there and it takes a little bit of time. But if you do it like once a month or so and you just do it in like little batches, slowly but surely you’ll start curating a feed that speaks more to your recovery journey and like your mental health journey.
[00:29:23] So, yeah, it takes like a little bit of time, but the effort is definitely worth it. Oh, and another thing that I just thought of is you can download third party apps that tell you how long you’ve been spending time on an app and you can actually set a timer for how long you want to spend on an app every day. And so, for example, my boyfriend has this third party. I don’t know what it’s called, but he set a limit. He’s like fifteen minutes on YouTube every day and like fifteen minutes of Instagram every day. And once you use up that amount of time, then it’ll like lock your screen and you can unlock it. But I mean you should probably go with what you set your time to. So that’s like another way to remind yourself, like, oh, shoot, maybe I’m mindlessly scrolling right now, like, I should really get back to what matters. Yeah, I think I think the couple pieces there that you grow up are very, very important. One is like all the noise that is going on, like it’s not like like I follow a bunch of my friends and stuff like that. But if it gets to the point where like. I’m just mindlessly scrolling and just liking photos and engaging with it or like this stuff that kind of bothers me like like it’s just random people going to like random political rants, stuff like I’m like, why am I to follow you at this point? All of a sudden I’m just like, screw it. Like, I’m going to either unfollow you. I don’t care. Like, it’s not worth it’s not worth my dollars. Like, look, you do what you want with your life and I have nothing against that.
[00:30:46] But I’m not going to waste my time, like even putting a slight bit of emotion or even that five seconds that I’m scrolling through my feet to like like I said, I think that’s an important piece. And another thing you brought up, it’s like limiting your time and actually being aware how much you spend on on applications, because that is the dangerous side of social media, is how much people spend on social media platforms and how much they spend on tech talk and design algorithms make you want to consistently go back and engage with it, which is a bit scary in some senses. But it also does give you more valuable content, it’s more creative content, stuff like that. But being conscious of that. Right. And if it’s eating away too much, your time finding ways to discipline yourself and restrict yourself or whatever those mediums might be, it helps form those better habits because I notice myself like late at night, like before I went to sleep, I was on TikTok and just like that, like ten minutes, I’m like, I can scroll through a couple terms. It’s like thirty minutes to be mindlessly scrolling like men. I’m like losing sleep to watch like minute clips that have no impact on my life, like why am I wasting my time doing this. And I was just like, OK, I’m just going to stop doing that. I made it a habit and I stopped doing that. I no longer look at TikTok before I go to sleep. Now I only look at in the morning and check it out real quick if I do look at. But even small habits like that also made my sleep patterns better. Allow me to focus better give you more time so that I think that overall, when it comes to social media, it’s like you just have to be disciplined and realize that you’re just taking all your time and then also without the noise, like if you’re going to spend a lot of time on social media, make sure that’s impactful time on social media.
[00:32:20] It’s not a bad thing to be on there, but you definitely don’t want to surround yourself with conversations that might not apply to you or might be negative to you. Yeah, and another thing that I just thought of, actually, when you were talking about your friends who go on like political romances, if you feel really awkward about unfollowing people, you can also meet them. And so, like, you can, like, turn off their stories and like their posts or whatever, but it still looks like you’re following them. So at least like you will have that awkward situation where you’re like, oh, I’m sorry, I’m following you like, you know, kind of avoids all that, but then you’re still saving your mental health. So, yeah, but I mean, you know, I can say all these things, but I know that I need to work on my time on social media because I’m I’m definitely on there for probably a little bit too long, like, you know, like to scroll through at night. It’s all balanced. Like like I said, like, there’s no I would not say there’s too much time spent or too little time spent, like what is right for you and what you think is real, that that’s really what matters. And as for those that I’ve on those political, I don’t I don’t mind if they see that I follow them. I’ll have that conversation when look me or definitely not shy away from a confrontation, but it’s more like I want to spend my social media time on that. I’d rather have that conversation in person and have a formal debate if that was to be a conversation. I do like political commentary. I just don’t like political noise, which I think is the the the other arena to that.
[00:33:54] But to your point, that is, if you don’t like confrontation, like me and me and Lewis are kind of different in that world, that I think that is a good approach. Right. You can always mute them. You still can be friends with them. Everybody can have their own opinions and you can do it in the way that you always feel comfortable accepting the that’s the biggest thing when it comes to decisions you make your life is what makes you comfortable is what you should be focusing on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am not afraid to have to confront somebody if they’re like, why are you involved. Like are you like I can I can go to town on that because it’s so like during this last political presidential campaign, a lot of stuff like I involved so many people and I never unfollow people because of the way that they vote and the way that they lean. I might like you can say, like you can have in your bio that you’re a Trump supporter and you just get put on a list from here like, all right, like you’re on thin ice, buddy. Like you, you better you better chill out. But it’s always when the people speak out. So like I remember when, like, the BLM marches started happening like that to my my unfollow finger was was on a heater that whole like a little bit of time, like it was just like people would post things about like look at these. Can you believe people are living like a block like unfollowed and block like I’m done with you? Like the minute it gets to where it’s you start to become like I see like xenophobic takes or I see racist takes.
[00:35:18] I see just bad takes. Like really bad takes. Yeah. I, I’ll call you in a heartbeat and I’ll tell it to your face why I did. Because I’m more than likely will remember why I’m called. Yeah, and that’s honestly why I had to just, like, get off of Facebook, because that’s where, you know, a lot of the chaos happens. And so I just I mean, I didn’t really go on it that much anyways because I just I don’t know. It’s just so outdated now. And I just feel like it’s just for like the older generation to rant about things that I don’t really care about. Yeah. So, like, I really go on it anyways, but it was just like it’s amplified during all that. And like, I just I heard so many crazy things from both sides that it just got me so emotional. And so I just had to distance myself from it. I was like, this is not a good place for me to be, even if, like, I even though I’m sure like and how I feel about everything is just like, oh, this is too much. Yeah, no, it just goes to that level of noise, like what you’re really comfortable with, what you want to deal with, where you want to put your energy to. Because if you spend your time and energy on things that, that don’t help in any way, shape or form of where you’re trying to go or what you’re trying to do in life. Yeah, at the end of the day, it’s just really it’s all I can do really is cause a negative effect. Like I’ll give you a negative emotional reaction to what’s going on it that doesn’t help help anything out when it comes to that.
[00:36:45] Yeah, I see your point about social media. I had so I brought this up before my therapist and I was like I was out on rants and be like these people said this. And it seems to me like I was like it got to me like she’s like, what did you respond to it? And like, no, but I just I sat in it for a while and just like got like kind of mixed up my emotions. And the best way of seeing it, I it was explained to me, was who you follow on social media. And your social media as a whole is just a house and every social media is a bedroom. And if you follow and the people you interact with, other people who exist in that bedroom, why do you want somebody in your in a house, in your house screaming about screaming like pro Trump rhetoric? Like probably not. So like that’s that that was like the mindshift for me. And since then it’s been my the the deadlifting dudes are the worst of my my issues now, which is I think a good place to be is helping you support getting back on your back in. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like days and work go that inspirational. There you go. Yeah, but that’s really a good analogy. Yeah, it’s always the way that I see it and that’s the way I kind of look at it now. It’s like not like my my tolerance is so low now just because I don’t know if you’re going if you’re going to be mean on social media, then you’re probably just like a mean person in general. So I’m just not going to follow you. Like, why are you going to be mean? Just like it’s so much harder to be mean than it is to be nice.
[00:38:15] It’s just crazy. It is. Yeah. One thing that my friend told me when, like, I got this like, rude mean comment one time and my friend was just like, wow, this person woke up and decided to be a villain today. I know how they can live with that. And I was like, oh yeah, they did decide that for themselves. Like it’s not about you, like, you know, but they decided to be the villain. So, yeah, that was just an interesting perspective. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, what other people say is their their, their take. It’s not the definition of the person they’re talking about. It’s more reflection on their own ideologies or their own struggles or on these things. And that’s that’s one thing I’ve learned is usually the the people that tend to be more aggressive on social media are sometimes those that are actually really calling for help or really need help or you have some something tinier. And then there’s also those people that just want to be a jackass. Like there’s there’s kind of a there’s there’s there’s a there’s a balance, a balance of both worlds. But yeah, you actually actively have to try to be negative versus if you’re just causing uplifting, it’s a lot less. You know, it’s very easy to congratulate. Like, I love congratulating people and they succeed and just sending them a quick message, like I enjoy that and it doesn’t take any effort of my own. Takes two seconds. And that might make the other person also happier by being acknowledged what they’ve been working on versus being negative, which doesn’t do good for either party. So that’s that’s where you brought that up? I might have a few, maybe 10 percent on a few of the messages or what’s big.
[00:39:46] I got stuck in the it got better. There’s something about what’s going on with the way it probably was good because, you know, like, I don’t have an iPhone and, you know, the messages, like, you know, the non superior technology just can’t be the same as messages. You know, on your criteria. You’re not superior rated. You forgot the preschedule like go and please. Now, I think I think all the stuff is is is pretty important, I mean, when it comes down to the whole thing, it’s the human brain was not meant to be on social media. I think that’s just like pretty pretty much what the research is showing us. But it’s kind of turning it around in a way that I think that I mean, I’m sure that you are also your part basically up the good shift towards where social media is now, like shying away from idealistic kind of stuff and now going into more individual phrasing and kind of building the person up. So I’m I’m curious as to like who were your influences? Obviously, you mentioned therapy and your therapist can help you and all these things like who who were the people that you kind of sought out as like you’re like, oh, well, look at what they’re doing. Like, I’m just curious. Yeah, I guess just like people who are very genuine on social media. I just always gravitate towards more genuine people because that’s just kind of like the person that I am at a spot like it’s like I like to have genuine conversation and genuine relationships and just like, yeah, just like kind of cutting all the small talk and just getting down to, like, the deep stuff. I noticed that when I talk to some of my friends, like sometimes I just go on like this huge, like, philosophical rant or something because I don’t I don’t even know why I like I guess it’s just who I am and who I’ve become because of my journey.
[00:41:50] So, yeah, just people who can be really real and because we need more of that, you know, like people are going through real stuff in this world. There’s no reason to hide it and pretend that everything’s fine. So, yeah, just basically anyone who I feel like is actually talking about not just, you know, like when they feel happy and positive and not even just like spreading positive vibes, but just people who can acknowledge that, like, there are going to be good days, are going to be bad days. And like we all just have to kind of go with it and persevere. Um, yeah. So I can’t really say that there’s, like, specific accounts, I guess, because I’ve just kind of carried in my feet to be like that. But one account that I do know at the top of my head, because I like kind of recently followed her is Mousepad Kitchin on Instagram. She’s like kind of the person that I just really connect just because she’s just so real. And she she’s a dietitian actually. Um, and she helps people recover from it, will not recover from their eating disorders because she’s not qualified to do that. I’m not sure if she’s like in the process of getting her qualifications for that. But she helps people with disordered eating. And she’s like one of the few people online that I just feel like, wow, like I I know exactly what you’re talking about. And like, this totally resonates with me. And even though I’m not suffering from an eating disorder anymore, like, I still really love her message because it’s just genuine. And and actually I met like a few of my friends who I have now on social media as well. There’s this one woman in particular.
[00:43:31] Her name’s Michelle, and she really helps me in my early days. And we actually met on Instagram and I just connected with her because she was just like she was encouraging. But then also just like pushing me and we eventually exchanged numbers and we’re still friends. So that’s been pretty cool as well. So, yeah, just anyone who’s willing to just have a real conversation. Yeah, I think that’s I think that’s great because like, you know, you have. Obviously, like I said, social media is what you make it if you. Curate your social media to be aggressive or hostile. That probably is what you’re going to get. But if you curated to be welcoming, you know, the listening and heartwarming like all these kind of things, you’re going to get that as well. And one thing that I will say, I’m sure it’s it’s self-explanatory, but I think it should be said is like you can always change your fee. I mean, to your point of liking cute animal pictures for two months so that you discover if it is now, just that you can always change your social media, you can change your social media habits, you can change the people you follow, you can start fresh. You would do all the time, delete all your pictures, start again, or don’t do whatever you want to do. But just know that the social media that you’re that you’re in currently and what you’re seeing and what the hell is making you feel should not be a permanent fixture. You can change it, you can alter it, and you can manipulate it in a way that best fits you your journey and you know who you are as a person. Yeah, I agree. And actually, that kind of reminds me, I was listening to a podcast yesterday and this one, I believe she’s a therapist, that she’s talking about how one of her professors was actually saying, like, imagine that you are in the middle of winter in New York City and you’re wearing a big winter coat that’s going to keep you, like, really warm and it’s going to keep you protected from the elements and you’re going to find a lot of comfort in that.
[00:45:27] But eventually summer will come. And if you’re still wearing that warm jacket like that’s not serving you anymore, you got to take it off. And, you know, like winter will come again, summer will come again. And it’s just like an analogy of basically saying, like something that works for you at one point of your life, at one point in your life, won’t work for you in the future. And then it may come back and work for you again or like you might just move on to a different code. So I think that just like I was such a powerful analogy, just showing like, yeah, things are going to change and that’s OK. And like, that’s just a part of life. Change is inevitable. Yeah. It’s a I forget which philosopher said it, but I think it’s the only constant is change. It’s that that’s, I think, something that the quicker you appreciate that, I think the quicker you like, OK, you know, my life isn’t that scary, just kind of sit back and enjoy it while you can, I guess. Yeah, totally. That was something like I hugely struggled with before, I was like a big part of my recovery is learning how to accept change. I think a lot of us can relate to that, too. Or like change can be really scary because there are a lot of unknowns. But yeah, like you said, like once we can learn to accept that and like the sooner we can learn to accept that, like, the better everything’s going to be. Yeah, absolutely. And I guess one one where this kind of this conversation is kind of steering towards is what do you what do you think is kind of in the future of, like mental health awareness or what do you think those things are going? Because like, one thing that shocks me is a quite surprising use that things like mental health aren’t really talked about even in school right now in academia, we don’t talk about it.
[00:47:13] And it’s actually quite ironic to be that academia prepares you for a job, but not to deal with the anxiety of the job, not to deal with depression, associate the job, not to none of these mental health orientations. Which one makes you want a better employee to find something you’re actually passionate about and like a career there? Because a lot of students I do want to go for the big names, like I want to work at Google, I want to work at Deloitte, I want to work at these big companies, which to each his own and might be a good fit for you. For a lot of people, it’s not because I like that lifestyle is very, very harsh and not everybody is kind of intended to do that kind of a lifestyle. But because things like mental health I’ve never talked about, I feel like those that then go on to their career paths then are trying to learn in real time, which which is very costly. Like for me, it’s like I’ve always struggled. Exactly, but never to the extent that like it’s taken over my life until this year, like this year, there was a point where I literally could drive for a whole month and I had to find out, like I literally was just like searching online, like remedies and stuff like that. One of them I found is like always have salt on you. So that’s why this is definitely not medical advice. But for those that deal with society, if you have salt on you like really a bag of salt, if you ever have an exciting attack and you put a little bit of salt on your tongue, it overrides the senses that are overriding your brain because it allows you to focus on a singular object versus it over, over, coming your entire body, which is why that that helps.
[00:48:37] Like, these are like small things like never before in my life I would be looking online, like, how do I deal with these kinds of things? Right. But I was never taught. I was never taught what a Zaydi attack feels like. I legit thought like it. Like that’s what it felt like. I like I was blacking out like I was driving and I felt like I was about to die. So it’s like this is not taught in school. So where do you what do you think? Like when it comes to mental health awareness and all these kinds of things are going because it is kind of like we’re talking about more normal for us to talk about it in an open venue versus it being just like a closed subject matter that once you deal with it, then you go to a therapist. Do you think what is in the future of awareness and conversations around this this topic? Oh, that’s such a good question. And just to backtrack a little bit, when you talked about the salt, that’s really funny that you brought that up, because when I was really struggling as well and I was having a bunch of anxiety attacks, my therapist actually recommended me to hold a piece of ice so that that would kind of like put my focus somewhere else. And then also another thing that really worked for me was going outside and like counting the leaves on a tree, because I would also, like, put your focus somewhere else. That was really interesting. I didn’t hear about this sort of thing before, but like, it’s kind of like a similar concept. So they help people who are listening can get that little nugget of wisdom and try that the next time they’re having an anxiety attack.
[00:49:59] Because you’re so right. It feels like like you’re going to die. Like there’s definitely moments where I’m like, oh, my God, I can’t breathe. Like, what’s going to happen to me. And yeah, like you said, like, we don’t learn that in school. And so I think that’s a really great way to start, is just teaching people in school, you know, like when you’re in middle school, they teach you physical health and like sex ed and everything. Mental health should be a part of that kind of education. And I think it’s really important to learn that when we’re really young because it can affect you so young and it’s affecting kids more and more now these days. And so I think like education, first of all, included in the physical education in sex ed is really important. And and then also, I think it’s important to continue that education in college because college is also a huge change. And that’s at least like that’s where I really started struggling was when I was in college and all my friends were moving away and I moved away from home. And it was just a really scary shift. So luckily, on most college campuses, there is a therapy office I think you can talk to like a licensed therapist or you can talk to grad students who are in the process of becoming a therapist therapist. So just making that more well known. To people that they can go see a therapist for free on campus, luckily I went to Davis and there we actually had quite a few resources for therapy and they made it pretty well known that there was a therapy spot on school like an actual building. So, yeah, just like making sure that that is implemented in every school.
[00:51:49] And then I think what we’ve seen really from last year is that a lot of people actually suffer with like anxiety and, you know, burnout. Burnout is huge. And so making that space in the workplace and just letting employees know, like, you can come talk to this person to talk about, like, whatever you’re going through and just recognizing the signs of burnout. I know that there is actually a program. I think it’s available to part time employees and full time employees. But there’s like an employee. I want to say it’s like EPA or something. It’s like an employee assistance thing where you can go see a therapist for like four sessions, but I feel like no one knows about that. And I just learned and learned about it recently. So just making that space and like making sure that everyone knows, like, hey, we we care about your mental health and like because, you know, when someone’s mental health is affected, their productivity is also affected. So I think just making it known and not being so ashamed about hiding it and just trying to be the best employee you can by working with so many hours, that’s not really what you’re there to do. I mean, it may be a huge driving point for some people, but it’s really important to recognize that everyone has a limit. That last part, I think, though, you said is like knowing knowing your limit, right, and being realistic with yourself, it comes from that’s I think step one would be. Teaching self reflection at a younger age and like teaching how how you can reflect, understand things like mental health, physical health, all these things that tie into it and learn how to reflect early on, I think that’s an important thing to teach at a young age.
[00:53:40] And then from there, like expanding across, like these are some common mental health things you might be dealing with. And like this is how these are quick tips and like resources is how you can prevent these kinds of things. That’s how you can leave it. This is where you should like just having the resources available at early age and educating them young and teaching the self reflection, because I really do believe that any kind of like rehabilitation and physical and mental form really comes first from that self reflection point and then comes from like that pathway of, OK, now I can recover from there. But if you can’t get to that self reflection point, it’s very hard to recover from a lot of different elements because you might not be able to identify that core problem which is going on. So I think I think that it needs to be more engraved and taught and then have more open conversations around it, because if I think those two things, it can save a bunch of lives, it can make people more productive. It can you can really teach how to control these things or not even just control and live a happy life and just focus on lifestyle. And then to your point on productivity and how it all impacts, it’s it’s quite surprising to me, actually, that companies don’t don’t take things like mental health more seriously. I think some companies now are in there actually providing free resources, like even on top of like employee benefits that you can get help and mental health assistance and all that kind of stuff, because at the end of the day, they have to have your employee, the more productive employee, the better everybody is. And I think that that’s where like the newer generations, I think are ideal job is what makes you happy.
[00:55:17] It’s not no longer any more like paycheck or this thing. For some people, it might be. And that’s perfectly fine, too, if you’re going for those paychecks. But most people now are looking like that happiness metric and what actually fulfills them, which is more important, how that all ties into SCOP. Yeah, and just another thing that I was thinking about, too, is because I guess we talk a lot about like the work space and in school, but also like when you go see your health care provider, a lot of doctors aren’t or weren’t previously trained and looking for the signs of a person who’s struggling with mental health. Now, I think it’s changing. I think I’ve heard like doctors are now learning more about like eating disorders and anxiety. And so I just really hope that also changes. And also just, um, people like minorities also, they tend to get disregarded a lot by their health care providers as well. So hopefully the training improves. There were like, you can look for the signs and ask the right questions and not discriminate against people. So I also hope that that area changes as well. And just like you talking about the self reflection that’s so big because that’s honestly like I think most of us can relate when we say, like, self reflection was like the biggest pivotal point in our in our recovery journeys, because just knowing where your triggers come from and knowing how you react to certain things and what your limits are and what your boundaries are, that recognizing all that definitely results in a much better life. So that’s super important. And it’s really a good thing that you brought that up. There’s a I think like overall like we’re talking like mental health is a it’s a it’s a broad topic with so many small micro elements to it.
[00:57:05] There’s so many things that society can be improved to help those with mental health issues. Medical field, of course, like I think the biggest issue with that, unfortunately, isn’t that. It’s just how the US health care systems are structured in the first place, which is unfortunate through. Since it is through private industry, there is incentives for doctors, for example, to prescribe medication pills versus providing medical support because of how it functions as an entity, because I’m originally from from FIDDLIN, it’s quite different in Finland. How do you do there? I mean, their their health care system versus here in the United States. But I think that also kind of goes down to the flies, like it really comes from also societal structures and not say one is better or worse. But you have to kind of compound it because like because I do think health care providers should be more knowledgeable disease and be able to educate more and focus in on it. But it’s difficult because of how it’s structured in the United States, which I wish I think it impacts it impacts those minority groups and those other totally avenues. I know it’s like once you get into the health care aspect and the structure of it, you just start going down this rabbit hole of issues that you find. It’s like doctors can only spend 15 minutes with their patients and then there’s not a lot of health care places in any minority communities. And like all these all these issues that just like, oh, man, I can’t believe you’re struggling with this. And it definitely needs to change like ASAP. Racism’s a. This is a fucking soxer prejudice of prejudice will get you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I know me growing up.
[00:58:49] I come from a super low income households. So like, I very I never really went to hospitals. I went to clinics. So like that like it’s transactional. It’s you get in there and they say, all right, what’s wrong with you? And you go, I don’t know. And they go, all right, well, go get an X-ray or go do this, go do that. They just want to find you, find out what might be wrong and then just kind of show you off. Yeah, that sucks. That’s actually bad. You know, I, I think it’s my my very little English speaking mother who was diagnosed with clinical depression, just getting tossed around left and right, front and center to like different doctors that were just like we don’t know what’s wrong with her. Is that her blood pressure, she’s she’s diabetic. So maybe this might be that is like. No, you asshole. She was fucking depressed. Like, it’s like it sucks. It’s like it sucks. And I’m glad that she’s getting the help now. But like, you touched on a very real topic, which is mental health, a lot of resources, a lot of these things have been allocated towards a certain group of people for a long, long time, these resources. And now it’s thankfully becoming not so, not so ivory tower. Ask for it to for you to get a mental health checkup or for somebody, a doctor to take you seriously. If you tell if you tell them that you are there to figure out what’s wrong with you as opposed to you already knowing what’s wrong with being proactive as opposed to reactive health care, thankfully, is becoming a real thing here in the States. But yeah. Yeah, that’s that’s real. That’s that’s real.
[01:00:30] Real. You have minority women specifically who are who are for a long time been suffering, whether that’s through really any part, through them giving birth to them, having just general health issues, mental health issues, all these things. People of minority people have long dealt with the short end of the stick. And I’m excited that we’re trending and that you mentioned as well, we’re trending in a position that’s going to take us somewhere that is better than what we’re at now, whether that’s doctors actually asking about mental health, asking about eating disorders, knowing having that knowledge to be able to identify those things I think is big. And I think I’m thankful that it is it is going to it’s going to be something that helps other people in a very serious way. It’s cool to see all these different therapy apps and platforms come out like talk space and better help. And the way that they provide their therapist by using like the sliding scale options so that people can pay based on their income and I think is really cool. And that just goes to show that we’re trying to make strides. I mean, obviously, like there are things that we still need to fix, obviously, in our country, but definitely like. We’re on our way. Yeah, it’s a build up, it’s a process, it’ll it’ll get there. And I’m excited that I’m excited that it is happening. And I hope that it does get I mean, you have to I mean, I goodness gracious. Like, the only thing we have on this boat is like the hope that it’s going to get better. Yeah, but yeah, I, I, I hope it gets better and I’m sure it will. I mean technology does drive those technology.
[01:02:24] I too to the point of technology overall, aside from Zoome being terrible, sometimes technology does drive industries to change. And I think like what we’re talking about, the reason why the medical industry has been what it is for such a long time is because they’ve had such a strong grasp. And hold on that industry technology now is making things more accessible. Telehealth is now here. There’s new systems. I had a conversation with this one, health care professionals talking about integrating a blockade into the health care system and other technologies and all these kinds of things. And it got me super excited because explained to me how they can decrease the cost substantially and make it more affordable. And he’s coming out of the Palm Springs area like the East Palm Springs, which is a very low income neighborhood, an area where it comes Inland Empire News explaining why he’s trying to build it out there and why it’s so important and how you can do all these things and was like, wow, like that that that gets me, like, super excited about where things can go, because that change is coming from younger people that are kind of pushing back and saying, no, this isn’t right. Like, I need to be more equitable. It needs to be better in this way, this way. And technology allows that to happen faster than an infrastructure to change. Right. Like infrastructure is just not going to change that fast. The US is not going to change the way they go about the health care system. There’s too many jobs dependent on in the cycle and then they’ll get into political mess anyways. But the technology, I think, can drive those avenues to the gaps. Right. So in mental health, I think the application based using A.I., connecting it with other therapists and experts around the world, I think that’s a fantastic way.
[01:03:59] Things that educate people on things like anxiety and all these kinds of things supergrid. So it’s exciting times to see where we’re kind of moving forward. But it all goes down to the bottom line. What we’re talking about is more open, genuine conversations about these things and and having voices being heard, because the more that people realize that I’m not the only one struggling with this or other people. So understanding it actually might inspire someone who is a computer scientist to figure out a solution for it. Right. And then they actually might build a platform that makes this place even a better place. So I think it all comes full circle, but it just come from that openness conversation that’s so important to be had already. You got you got something loose. Now, I was going to say I agree with how I think technology is going to make it super accessible to everybody. This is the first time I ever heard you say, I agree, so I’ll hold you to that, that that’s that’s a fantastic thing. We got this one recording. I know it’s documented at this point you can never get away, but. Yeah, so, I mean, we’ve had a really good conversation about mental health and everything that ties into that for the different avenues. And obviously, what from your background all the way to you kind of building out your your own social platform, your articulation in what you’re trying to impact and get backwards. But the one thing that we always end this show with and it kind of ties into the whole aspect of mental health is failure. And the reason why we do that specifically times is the stigma associated with failure, because that is one thing that actually does trigger for a lot of people different mental health issues or kind of struggles with competition or how they relate themselves in the real world to other people, because it’s a point of a downturn for individuals.
[01:05:36] But I personally think it’s the biggest turning point for the individual. If you treat it correctly, you learn from it and you try to do something from a point of failure in your life. So we end with the guests providing us with a failure story. If there is a story you would like to share with us tying into point your life where things might have gone the opposite direction, but turn it around and the floor is all yours to share whatever story you like. Oh, OK. So definitely the salient thing in my mind right now is when I when I transferred to the University of California, Davis, from my community college, I initially transferred as a nutrition student because I wanted to be a dietitian. And the reason I wanted to be a dietitian was because I worked for the dietitian and my intensive outpatient therapy program. And she just she changed my life. She she didn’t just like give me a meal plan and weighed me or whatever and like, did all that technical logistical stuff. But she just she felt like an older sister to me, someone that I just felt so comfortable around. And we really talked about like incredibly deep topics and things that I just didn’t know about myself and why I was doing certain things. And we really dug together. And she was just willing to go with me all the way through that journey. And so because of working with her, I wanted I was just like, oh my gosh. Like, I feel so inspired by her. And like, I want to do the exact same thing that she did to me that, like, I hope that I can do that to other people. And so, yeah, that’s why I wanted to become a dietitian.
[01:07:19] And so I originally transferred to Davis to do that. Um, but the thing was, I was still heavily struggling with my eating disorder and anxiety, and my body image was just I felt like it was getting worse and worse because I was actually recovering or becoming weight restored. And so it was just a lot of things to deal with in my mind. And so mental health takes up a lot of space in your mind, and it doesn’t really leave room for a lot of other things. And so I was going through my studies, I was like, oh my gosh, I cannot keep up with this. Like, these lessons are just way too hard. Um, and just like all this scientific stuff. And it was kind of new to me because I’ve always been more drawn to like the creative side of things like writing, drawing and all that is to my mind, I guess I wasn’t really used to working this way, especially in a college setting. I mean, I’m always fascinated by science, but like, this is just like another level. So I had to make the hard decision to drop out of the nutrition program and switch over to communications, which was actually my original plan because I wanted to become a writer. And the fields is definitely a lot easier, like the concepts are a lot easier to grasp, especially because, like, I guess I was training myself in the in that niche as well. So I graduated with a communications degree and I was like, man, I really wish I pursued dietetics. But, you know, looking back on it now, like, I, I definitely could not have done it. And so, yeah, that’s just kind of like I guess my failure story was that I went to go into one field and I just had to admit to myself that I couldn’t do it.
[01:09:04] And for me, like being a perfectionist as well, I was so hard to admit to myself. And just being someone who really wants to work hard at school and get good grades and everything, that was just it was kind of it felt like a huge defeat. But in the end, it turned out a lot a lot better because I really had time to go see the therapists on campus and I had time to kind of reflect. And even though I was still heavily struggling with anxiety after I graduated, I feel like I learned a lot about myself during that time. And, you know, it’s never too late to go back to school. So I am planning to go back to school and become a dietitian still, because it’s just been on my mind since then, but. Yeah, I just feel like it’s so important to recognize these times and not regret it, because you always learn something, as you said, like you planned for one thing, and it turns out the opposite, but you still learn from it no matter what it is. So that was like a huge learning period for me and definitely a humbling moment. And it just it felt so huge at the time. But I look back on it and, like I turned out, fine. Yeah. I mean, that’s I think that’s one of the most important things when it comes to reflection is in any point in your life, that moment is going to be the most important moment of your life. But as you look back on it, it’s not it’s your start. Reflect the understanding that there was so many different things that actually were going on at the same time that it was it might have been harder to kind of dissect through.
[01:10:31] And I I think one question I have to follow up is that your stories, like if you were to talk with somebody who currently is going through failure, what is some advice you would give them based off your journey? Because what you just explained, I do think a lot of college students go to that exact kind of process. They go into college with wanting to do a certain thing. They might not be able to do it, and they’re hitting that exact same experience you’re doing. So do you have any advice for those students that might be going through that in their own lives? Yeah, I guess I can speak to, like, well, I wish I would have heard when I was going through this, but I would really say to someone just like, slow down for a second. And I felt like I was such and a huge rush to make a decision about my future. And I felt like every single decision I made was very permanent. So I would say, just slow down, take a moment to again, like reflect on where you are in your life at this moment. What can you honestly, realistically handle? And if you can’t handle something, is this something that you can still do in the future? And the answer to that is most likely, yes, you probably can do that in the future. But, you know, some things take priority at one season in your life. But that doesn’t mean that always is going to be a priority in your life. So just kind of recognizing, like, OK, what do I have to work on right now so that I can eventually get to my bigger goals? And then also, I think just getting a lot of outside opinion as well from people who you trust can also really help because you can get really caught up in your head and you can start telling yourself a bunch of different things.
[01:12:12] And it just gets so chaotic up there. And like all these voices are like screaming at you to do something and they’re like contradicting each other. So I think getting an outside opinion also really helps because you can kind of see, like, almost an unbiased view on your situation and kind of put things into perspective. And that’s something like I kind of wish I did a little bit more as well. And I have this tendency to bottle up all my feelings because I don’t want to burden anyone. But you have to realize, like if you have people you can trust, these people most likely are your friends who you would want them to come to you when they’re feeling really like depressed or anxious or dealing with something really difficult so that that situation is reciprocal. So you can also go to them and tell them what you’re going through and get their opinion on stuff. So, yeah, that’s probably what I would say to someone who who’s going through a similar situation right now. So thank you so much for sharing that story and thank you so much for providing us. Like I said, I do think a lot of a lot of college students are constantly going through that exact struggle that they went through. And it’s it’s I think one thing that you brought up that I think is the most important thing is we at a young age like to rush stuff, but we have time, like you can make all the mistakes in your entire life, in your twenties and you’ll be fine in your 30s like that. That is the reality of the situation. But you have to kind of like take a step back and be like, all right, take a deep breath and let’s let’s see where we go from here.
[01:13:43] But I know when I I mean, I’m I’m still young, but I was still thinking that way, like when I was young, like getting into my twenties, like I was always thinking, like, I need to get this now. I need to do this. And you do that now. Now that I’m getting a bit older, I’m just like, let’s take time a little bit more patience. I’m still I still expect so fast, but a little bit more patience. And I think that’s a very important takeaway. Awesome. But yeah. So the other part for how we can close it out is tying in. How can people communicate with you? How can they follow you tied into any of your Instagram, any of your other websites or any other channels or any other mediums that people can stay connected and find out more about mental health and and follow along with your hundred? Yeah, sure. So you can find me at my main channel, which is at this Hanabi, like this is the BBC and then you can also find me at my other platform which is called You’ll be OK Again, like a like a honeybee and so you can find me on Instagram on there as well. That page is a little bit more I would say like educational, also kind of spunky and like funny again like bringing that humor back into mental health. You know, like I want to add my whole goal with this page is to make mental health also taboo and like make it even like a little bit funny to talk about, like, provocative almost. And so you can find me there. That’s going to be a little bit more like educational stuff and funny stuff. And then my personal one is more like my own personal take on this online conversations going on on that page.
[01:15:25] Um, and then I do that. I have a website yet, but it is in the works, so when it does go up you can find it and you’ll be OK. Dotcom and actually for the month of May and June because May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I’m hosting a fundraiser on Fundly Dotcom and I’m trying to raise one thousand dollars for the National Eating Disorder Association, which is the largest nonprofit organization that helps people suffering from eating disorders treatment. And they also raise funds for research and just like awareness and everything. So I’m hosting a fundraiser on there. You can find the link in both of the Instagram bios and if you donate fifteen dollars or more, you can get a more than a number pin, which is just like a mantra that I always say to myself that you’re like more than the number on the scale number of the size on your waist jeans and like your GPA. It’s like we define ourselves by numbers every single day. Now it’s like how many followers you have on your likes you have, how much money is your business coming in. So it’s just like kind of a reminder that you’re more than that. Awesome. Thanks so much. Thank you so much for everything. Great, great conversation. Great, great details. Great tips. I know me and Lewis definitely appreciate you having on the show and having having this open conversation about everything. Definitely our our amazing videographer here, Nick, who nobody can see because he’s behind the behind the screen to throw those things in the in the description as we as we post this. And hopefully we can we can help you get to that goal that you have for this year of this event.
[01:17:12] Thank you so much, guys. This is so much fun. I seriously like such an honor being on here and thank you for everything that you do as well. Absolutely. Yeah, well, thank you for those tuning in to the group if you have any questions or anything like that. Feel free to throw in the chat box for, of course, happy to always answer the questions people have. And also that helps us kind of figure out who we should get as a next guest, next guest, because we want to continue these open conversations in different fields. But that’s it for the Brew for this week. Thank you for tuning in.